Week 7 | The Dingleberry Sports Desk

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Hear ye

Working on Weekend takes the lead of the standings at 5-2-0.Rightful place (10th place) led all scorers with 127.34.Chubby Unicorn edged Concussion Check by 0.88, the closest finish of the week.Fuzzy Ferret scored just 67.82, the lowest of the week.Yaya climbs 2 spots to 3rd.Concussion Check has lost 7 straight.The Ministry of Silly Walks has opened a routine inquiry.

Commissioners' Corner

OFFICIAL DECREE FROM THE CO-COMMISSIONERS: Week 7 is in the books. Working on Weekend takes the lead of the standings at 5-2-0. Rightful place (10th place) led all scorers with 127.34. Chubby Unicorn edged Concussion Check by 0.88, the closest finish of the week. Working on Weekend flattened Fuzzy Ferret by 41.26. Fuzzy Ferret scored just 67.82, the lowest of the week. Concussion Check remains winless at 0-7-0. A performance review is scheduled for dinner. In unrelated news, a shovel remains unaccounted for. Furthermore, bring me a shrubbery!

The Co-Commissioners

Week 7 in numbers

Highest score: 127.34; Rightful place (10th place)
Lowest score: 67.82; Fuzzy Ferret
Closest finish: 0.88; Chubby Unicorn
Biggest blowout: 41.26; Working on Weekend

Week 7 results

⚔️ Standard joustWon by 24.78
Bring Me A Shrubbery87.22
The Beat Goes OnWinner112.00
The Beat Goes On takes the joust against Bring Me A Shrubbery, 112.00 to 87.22.
⚔️ Standard joustWon by 5.44
Waffles110.38
YayaWinner115.82
Yaya handles Waffles by 5.44.
🦾 'Tis but a scratchWon by 41.26
Working on WeekendWinner109.08
Fuzzy Ferret67.82
A 41.26-point rout. Fuzzy Ferret would like a word with its roster. Fuzzy Ferret fell 46.72 short of its projection.
⚡ Nail-biterWon by 0.88
Chubby UnicornWinner88.16
Concussion Check87.28
A 0.88-point squeaker: Chubby Unicorn survives Concussion Check.
🦾 'Tis but a scratchWon by 34.26
No Collusion93.08
Rightful place (10th place)Winner127.34
Rightful place (10th place) wins by 34.26, and No Collusion was never really in it. An upset: the projections had No Collusion ahead by 13.51.

Power rankings

How the standings looked after Week 7.

👑 Holy Grail Contender

1Up 1 from last week
Working on WeekendPF 752.54, PA 717.56
Seizes first place at 5-2-0. Beat Fuzzy Ferret, 109.08 to 67.82. Has won 5 straight. A spokesperson denies any shovel-related activity.
5-2-0752.54717.56W-5

🌿 Knights Who Say Ni

2Up 2 from last week
The Beat Goes OnPF 730.16, PA 635.08
Climbs 2 spots to 2nd at 5-2-0. Beat Bring Me A Shrubbery, 112.00 to 87.22. Its pulse remains steady and slightly suspicious.
5-2-0730.16635.08W-1
3Up 2 from last week
YayaPF 729.08, PA 707.26
Climbs 2 spots to 3rd at 5-2-0. Beat Waffles, 115.82 to 110.38. The fox has no comment.
5-2-0729.08707.26W-1
4Down 3 from last week
No CollusionPF 789.52, PA 735.26
Falls 3 spots to 4th at 4-3-0. Lost to Rightful place (10th place), 127.34 to 93.08. The League is not asking questions. Yet.
4-3-0789.52735.26L-2

🦜 Dead Parrot Tier

5Down 2 from last week
WafflesPF 748.42, PA 756.02
Falls 2 spots to 5th at 4-3-0. Lost to Yaya, 115.82 to 110.38. Waffles has been a good dog and awaits a treat.
4-3-0748.42756.02L-1
6Same rank as last week
Bring Me A ShrubberyPF 686.08, PA 704.56
Stays 6th at 4-3-0. Lost to The Beat Goes On, 112.00 to 87.22. The Commissioner has recused himself from commenting on his own team.
4-3-0686.08704.56L-1
7Up 1 from last week
Rightful place (10th place)PF 749.16, PA 738.94
Moves up to 7th at 3-4-0. Posted the week's top score, 127.34. The appeal is pending.
3-4-0749.16738.94W-2

💀 Bridge of Death Peasantry

8Up 1 from last week
Chubby UnicornPF 660.82, PA 701.38
Moves up to 8th at 3-4-0. Beat Concussion Check, 88.16 to 87.28. The unicorn is vibing.
3-4-0660.82701.38W-1
9Down 2 from last week
Fuzzy FerretPF 690.62, PA 747.64
Falls 2 spots to 9th at 2-5-0. Posted the week's lowest score, 67.82. The ferret remains fuzzy and unbothered.
2-5-0690.62747.64L-1
10Same rank as last week
Concussion CheckPF 607.22, PA 699.92
Stays 10th at 0-7-0. Lost to Chubby Unicorn, 88.16 to 87.28. Still searching for a first win. A performance review is scheduled for dinner.
0-7-0607.22699.92L-7

Week 8 preview

Projected points and win odds, courtesy of Yahoo.

Bring Me A Shrubbery105.81 projectedvsWaffles92.75 projected
Bring Me A Shrubbery is a 63 percent favorite over Waffles, projected 105.81 to 92.75.
Yaya94.76 projectedvsRightful place (10th place)104.46 projected
Rightful place (10th place) is a 60 percent favorite over Yaya, projected 104.46 to 94.76.
The Beat Goes On107.98 projectedvsWorking on Weekend108.36 projected
Yahoo calls it a coin flip: The Beat Goes On and Working on Weekend are separated by 0.38 projected points.
Fuzzy Ferret94.76 projectedvsConcussion Check86.60 projected
Fuzzy Ferret is a 59 percent favorite over Concussion Check, projected 94.76 to 86.60.
Chubby Unicorn97.02 projectedvsNo Collusion110.60 projected
No Collusion is a 63 percent favorite over Chubby Unicorn, projected 110.60 to 97.02.

If you encounter a particularly stubborn opponent...